Oh yeah…I said that.
To MY sixth grade daughter.
I am mom of the freaking year
I totally lost my shit last night…. In my defense we
were on night TWO of “catch up on the shit you didn't do
while you were at your dad’s house because you knew he wouldn't check”.
Just to clarify; I’m not talking
about 2 or 3 assignments. I’m talking about a list of 9-12 different
assignments! Add to this that the child has a school provided I pad with
daily calendars of what’s due and when. SHE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE TO
WRITE HER OWN ASSIGNMENTS DOWN! And she can’t remember what she needs to
This is how it all went
down: I take over the i pad and am going through the calendars and
writing a list of what the child has outstanding, what she turned in and what
she has no clue about. At this point I have 2 items on the done list, 3
or so on the incomplete list and I’m somewhere around 5 items on the “I have no
fucking clue list” I admit I was already a little short tempered by the
whole situation, but when we hit number five and she couldn't even tell me if
she’d seen the paper before I completely lost it and went bat shit crazy. I asked her if she actually went to school or if she even cared about school
and being successful at all. I then proceeded to tell her that if she
kept up this attitude she would find herself working on a career as a homeless
crackhead and she was about 3 assignments away from being just that.
She looked at me horrified. I’m
still not sure if she actually believed what I was saying or if she could tell
I was about to topple right over the edge of that crazy cliff.
If I wouldn't have been so irate I would have laughed at the absurdity of what I had
just said. I did in fact realize how crazy I was beginning to sound so I
called in reinforcements (Derek), grabbed a beer and took it with me for
a nice long bath (where I proceeded to drop my brand new phone in the water).
The only silver lining to this
cloud…while I had to stay up till midnight helping Big with her homework I was
able to Google and fix my water damaged sim contactor. (It took a really
tiny screwdriver, you tube, a q tip and lots of 4 letter words…but that’s a
story for another day)
And here I am at work blogging
instead of doing my “assignments”. I better get back to it…we don’t need
2 homeless crackheads in the house….