Thursday, January 3, 2019

So....a baby shower?

Introducing Derek's new baby: a 112lb-6oz , 181 month old  baby girl!!!

Yep, you read that right.... We have a new Yaste in the house. 
Kaitlynn is officially Kaitlynn Michael Yaste! Derek finally adopted his biggest, most obnoxious baby. 
We're thinking of having a baby shower - only there will be booze and please bring $20's instead of diapers (just give them to the teenager - she takes them all anyway) 

It's finally official: as of December 28, 2018 Derek is Kaitlynn's legal father.  I'm so happy!
Image may contain: 6 people, including Derek Yaste and Ashley Yaste, people smiling, people sitting and indoorHappy that Kaitlynn has a dad that that adores her the way Derek does, happy that Derek gets to say she's legally his daughter, happy that now they'll quit bugging me not to die for fear of where she'll go..... 

It's weird - so much has changed legally, but not a thing has changed in our day to day lives.  It's huge and nothing all at once. It feels like it should have always been this way.  

Image may contain: 3 people, including Derek Yaste and Ashley Yaste, people smiling, people standing and indoorBefore we all go about our normal days I wanted to leave both my daughter and my husband a few of my thoughts.  We all know I don't really do "feelings" so I'm going to write them.  I'm also going to post them on my public blog in case you ever want to reference them again also because I really need to start posting again.  (I really need you kids to start being entertaining again....)

Anyway,

To my Daughter:
I know this is an amazing moment for you and I am so happy for all of us. 
I also know that it is or at some point will be both amazing and bittersweet. Don't let the sting of the actions of others taint your happiness today or your self worth EVER.  
In life you will undoubtedly encounter people and situations that will make you question your worth.  When that time comes remember Dec. 28, 2019.  
Image may contain: 2 people, including Ashley Yaste, people smiling, people standing and indoorRemember the past 9 years.  
Remember the man who loved you at first sight.  
The man that continued to love you for another 9 years knowing you would probably always be "just kind of his" and he might always be just a step-dad.  
Remember the man who loved you no different and no less even if he was just your step dad because you were worth it.  
Remember the man that told you he loved you even after you screwed up.  
Remember all of that and understand that he didn't have to.  
He didn't have to love you like his. 
He didn't have to enjoy being with you. 
He didn't have to enjoy being a step dad.  
Remember and understand those things and know in your heart that he didn't have to but he did.  
He did because of you.  
He loved you because of you, he cared for you and took care of you because of you.  

Because you, my beautiful, strong, sensitive, funny daughter; you are worth every bit of that love. 
If you ever doubt that or wonder if you are enough re-read this and know that you absolutely are.  You are deserving of love and respect and time and laughter and all of the good things in life.  You will always be worth it and you will always be enough.   When the world seems to hate you and it feels like life is crashing around you know that your father and I will always be here and we will always love you.  


To my Husband:
Thank you.  
Thank you for loving me and loving my daughter unconditionally and without stipulations. 
Image may contain: Derek Yaste, smiling, hat and closeupThank you for being a dad to a little girl who desperately needed one but wasn't always easy to love.  Thank you for never opting out, never backing down and always being there for her.  
Thank you for acting like a father even when it wasn't your responsibility or fun or easy.  
Thank you for sharing in the sleepless nights and the frustrations and the joys and the celebrations equally.  Thank you for being present in her life no matter what.
Thank you for always being there for a little girl that was used to being let down.  For showing her that dad's do keep their word and love is unconditional.
Thank you for showing her what it's like to be a priority.
Thank you for never once giving up on any of us.  It's been a long road to this day- we have had ups and downs and even some sideways, but we've gotten through it together.   
I couldn't have done any of this without you, your encouragement and support.  I couldn't have picked a better father for my children.  
You are kind and patient and strong and most of all loving.
You make us all feel loved and safe.  You are our safe place.  Home is not the same when your gone.  I love watching you with our children.  I love how much you love them.  I love how much you love all of us.  
They might learn how to wire a furnace from me, but they will be good people because of what they learn from you.

Thank you for being my partner, my best friend and best the father to all of our children.
If I die tomorrow I'm content knowing that they have you to love and protect them. (I'll also haunt you if you ever re-marry - don't bother.  -just an FYI)

Image may contain: 1 person, smiling, standing, sky and outdoorI'm so happy for you both.  
You both deserve this and all the amazing things life has to offer.