The Days Are Long....

The other day a friend of mine posted about enjoying the mess in regards to her kiddos and how one day that mess will be gone.
I immediately though of the saying: "The days are long but the years are short"
Then I posted it.
Then I thought: Well, wasn't that the the most pretentious and cliche shit to say.
Then thought...yeah but it's true.
Then I though - OMG - all of my kids are in school!  Kait's out in 2 years and counting and the babies are hovering around 11 more years.
Then I thought: Shit, 2 years...11 years...That's fast as fuck for one and OMG - the I'm gonna be dead before the babies ever leave my damn house!
Then I thought:  Shit, shit, shit....I also haven't blogged in like forever.  I've got to do something or the kids are gonna have a really shitty baby book (read the intro page if you're confused here)

Then I opened the blog and  blew the dust off to find this little gem that I'd completely forgotten about.  (I was probably interrupted before I could post it)

As soon as I saw the title I knew I had to finish this shit and add an update!
Here it is in all it's glory circa June(ish) 2017:

THE DAYS ARE LONG, BUT THE YEARS ARE SHORT

Last night we registered Big Red for High School.

I didn't even cry!  

It was actually fun. 

She was excited (when she would forget to act too cool to be excited).  We were all kind of excited. 

Holy shit y'all - This isn't the same High School we went to!  

The classes are insane: Forensic Science, Sculpting, Mythology, Hydrology, Engineering.  

More than anything it didn't feel real.  

I felt like I should still be the one in high school NOT my baby.

Jesus, how did 14 years go by so fast?  I don't know when it happened, but my baby is not only a young lady, but damn near an adult.

In four years she'll be on her own.  She'll be her own person and I'll have to take a seat on the sidelines and watch her life unfold.  

Four years used to feel like a lifetime.  Today it feels far to soon and all too real.

Four years ago I had an 10 year old a 2 year old and and a baby.  Four years ago I didn't think we'd get here.  I didn't think I'd make it through the day at times.  

Years ago I was whining to a friend about how impossible my life was with "all these damn children that D forced me to have so he could trap me into marriage..." and her response was "The days are long, but the years are short."

I held in my eye roll and the snide remark, but I wanted to tell her there's NOTHING short about shitty diapers and midnight feedings other than the short little assholes who make and require them.  (Don't call CPS or assume I'm a horrible shit:   I had two babies under 18 months and a middle-schooler ALL while working full time! Oh! Also don't forget - D was working out of town Monday through Thursday so I was doing this by myself even though I technically had a back-up. 
Anyway,  back off  Judgy-McJudgerson - I earned the right to call them assholes)


Now that quote makes me cry like a damn idiot.  

Last night on the way home from cheer she asked me a question and I wanted to give her an answer that she would always remember, but about 40 seconds into my heartfelt response I saw her staring into the vanity mirror making kissy faces and taking selfies...

I realized a few things:

1)  I'll have to print this out as a book because she won't actually "feel my pain" till she's feeling her own

2) She's still a dick

2) She makes a really good kissy face

3) Even if I forced her to listen to my speech she wouldn't get it...it's not even in her realm of thought yet. 

The End

Fast forward about a year:

09/20/2018

The days are still really fucking long (mostly because my teenager has a cell phone and repeatedly texts me about shit that can wait till later...and meetings - always meetings)



The years are a vortex of mind fuckery:
They seem short in reference to big Red.  Oh my god do they seem short!  I don't know where 15 years went.  I feel like shes slipping through my fingers in front of my eyes.  But they're also amazing and wonderful and fun.

She's a real person with empathy and shit now (tempered by teenage hormones of course),but shes just fun to be with in general. Shes got amazing friends who are just as insane as she is - I never thought I could really truly love a bunch of overly dramatic teenage girls but I've acquired about 6 bonus daughters since my last post.  They are all possibly clinically insane and belong in an drama troupe touring the world, but they're smart, and funny, beautiful, caring and they lift each other up and are genuinely happy when the others succeed and supportive like no other.  (Some of you bitches could learn a lesson or two from the crazy girls....just sayin') 





The years are still relatively slow for the babies...

Lannie is in Kindergarten and and I feel like we've been practicing sight words for 6,000 years and we still only know 3 of them.  What really slows it down is shat she really doesn't give a flying fuck if she learns them or not.  Clearly, shes a princess and we should all be grateful that she bothered to learn the 3 that she did.
(OMG this child hurts my fucking head...but Jesus shes cute)

Jaxon is still Jaxon - teetering between guns and cars and video games.  He's still the same old dependable Jaxon. He hates vegetables and his favorite food group is FD&C Red No. whatever (maybe even a little yellow dye too).   I'm fully convinced that he's the only one who will not stick our asses in a nursing home.  I'm working on secretly hinting that he's the favorite in an effort to get nice digs when I'm crapping myself while still making him taste carrots and green beans.  It's a fine line...

The general day to day hasn't changed much
I still don't have a clue if I'm coming or going...No more shitty diapers and midnight feedings, but now I have 3 little moochers to verbally remind me when I fuck up and buy the crappy snacks.







I also have 3 wonderful humans who are all capable of saying "Thank You" and "I Love You" - they even say it sometimes too.

Some days are long, some feel like they're never gonna fucking end, some aren't long enough, but the years aren't really noticeable till they're gone.  Then they're so fucking short it's scary.....

    

Just don’t make a sign and chant a silly chant...

So, we had the walk out discussion which I’m sure most any parent with a high schooler has. 

 This is our conversation below.  Initially, I had planned on telling Kait her ass would be in school and in class getting the education she was there for, but we called an audible. 

*Side-note so this isn’t super confusing*  

Kait is raised by Derek and I so she’s referencing walking out in support of allowing teachers to arm themselves if they choose. 

Our conversation went like this: 

Derek: Hey don’t you have a trump shirt? 

Me: Uh yeah...it says deplorable...why 

D:  Kait wants to borrow it.

A: Sure- what are you wearing it for?  I mean you can’t totally borrow it but it seems like an odd request. 

Kait: I’m thinking of wearing it for the walkout...

A: You know walking out of school just for the sake of doing it is dumb as fuck right and makes you look silly. 

K: Well, no I don’t think I’m walking out unless it’s FOR letting our teachers arm themselves.

A: Ok, well I agree with your opinion, but if all you do is stick on a trump or NRA shirt and walk out of school to make your point your proving the stereotype of spoiled hissy-fit-throwing millennial generation.  Yes, it might make the news but if people disagree with your viewpoint you will be dismissed as a silly millennial throwing a tantrum. 

K: Yeah that’s true - I probably wont walk out that’s stupid when you put it that way. 

A: I was going to tell you in no uncertain terms will you walk out of school just to throw a fit but I think Im changing my mind - you can joint the walk out....under certain circumstances. 

K: Uh...ok? What

A: you need to do some research first.  The shirt you might choose to wear may or may not be the most relevant choice at this exact moment. 

K: Well I might wear an NRA shirt I don’t know...

A: I’m not knocking the “Deplorable” shirt, I’m saying you need to go beyond your feelings and know what it is you’re talking about.  If your gonna walk out of school and flaunt an unpopular opinion be prepared to have someone question your opinion or the validity of it. 

K: <deer in headlights look>

A: Do this and get back to me: 

 1) Look up deplorable and know what it means both the definition and the pop culture reference 

2) Find out what it stands for in current culture and what that word embodies to people who consider themselves “deplorables” and figure out if those values and beliefs are in line with yours 

3) Figure out why they’re even called “deplorables” who said it and what context they meant it in” 

K: <starts googling> oh- ok, Cool!

A: Not yet - that’s just preparation not to make yourself look like an asshole when someone asks you why you’re wearing what you’re wearing.   

Now here’s the action part: see, walking out is a great way to get publicity for your opinion for one day but your not actually directly affecting any change (as in a tangible change you can see immediately).  If you’re going to expect people to acknowledge your opinions and act on them you also need to act on them.  Find something that you can do that will make a difference.  Write the school board, write to your congressman, find a lonely kid and really try to be a friend, step up when someone is being bullied and be their advocate even if you’re going against the grain- and do it every day.  Find things you can do that have an immediate impact even for just one person AND DO THEM.  If you do all of that you can walk out with my support no matter what side of the fence your on. 

Honestly, I still roll my eyes when I think of her walking out of school in any kind of protest, but I guess if that is the trade off for her making an actual tangible change and figuring out why she believes what she believes on her own then it’s worth it...

I challenge all parents to do the same no matter what your/your children’s beliefs might be.  If it’s truly a worthwhile cause you won’t only rally for a day with 500 other like minded people, you’ll work every day to change what you personally can - even when no ones looking. 

We might not need so much gun control or armed teachers if instead we actually cared a little more about our peers and surroundings.

Look Ma...Finally a new Post

For the last 8 months I’ve been meaning to get back on here and write a post....hell, at least post pictures. 

Clearly I haven’t.  

My poor blog seems to have fallen into the same black hole that somehow sucked up all of my free time and energy and clean underwear. (Like, ALL OF THE GODDAMNED UNDERWEAR!) 

Since they’re too young to read this I’ll just blame it on the terrorists for not being funny anymore.  

In truth they might be a little less funny but mainly they’re just all so goddamned active.  

I was reading through some of my old posts and I remember feeling like I was stuck in a never ending cycle of shitty diapers, tantrums, homework and counting down the days till daddy came home.  I didn’t think it could get any more hectic or exhausting. 

I was wrong. 

The kids are less physically demanding but god they’re mentally exhausting.  (For instance - I’m currently sitting in the tub trying to wash my ass while calling out spelling words to Jaxon, watching Lannie put on a runway show in my heels, reading a drama piece with Kait and trying to get her competition schedule nailed down) 

Back to the terrorists:

They’re not cute little drunk midgets with mood swings anymore.  They’re like miniature bipolar dictators .  Everyone wants to run the fucking show but no one wants to get a damn job and pay some of the bills. 

And the personalities....OHMIGOD THE FUCKING PERSONALITIES!  And the homework and the talking and the questions and the practices and the school plays...and the arguing and the fighting. 

Their personalities haven’t changed so much- they’ve just REALLY intensified. Except Kait- she’s like a whole new person ( I’ll get to her later - she deserves her own paragraph)

Lannie is still an asshole but she’s also morphed into my southern, uptown, old money grandmother.  She sleeps with a sleeping mask (every single night), rises about 10:30, douses herself in perfume and lipstick, tells you exactly what she thinks and carries her toys in a coach bag wherever she goes.  Yes, she still runs the show and no we don’t fight it anymore.  She’s probably the most self sufficient of the bunch...and long as she doesn’t have to get up before brunch. (She also has a 40 year old BFF - like for real) 

Jaxon hasn’t changed much - he’s still the sweet, sensitive little man he always was.  He’s quit saying weird shit like “I wat to hug your guts” but he still loves unconditionally and blindly even thought his sisters routinely take advantage of that fact.  He’s my easy kid in school, but probably the most work at home.  He spends about 40% of the time crying because his sisters are harassing him, 30% of the time trying to hit them with hard objects because of the harassment and another 30% of the time doing whatever it was that I told him to stop doing “just one more time” (or shooting nerf guns at the dogs)

Kait isn’t really in the same category as the terrrorists anymore.  She’s a real person that you can have adult conversations with (most of the time).  I dreaded highschool and teen years, but this last year has been almost as much fun as when she was a baby and couldn’t move.  

This year had been a game changer for her.  To say she’s grown up and come into her own is an understatement.  She lives with us full time now and the difference in her whole personality has been mind blowing. 

Big red is now a freshman in highschool maintaining A’s and B’s, she’s a varsity cheerleader and also on a competition cheer team.  She’s outspoken and funny and she’s found this confidence that you can see in her eyes.  

Y’all, she hangs out with us on Saturday nights sometimes -even when she’s not grounded. As a matter of fact I dont think she’s been grounded in over 3 months.   (She still can’t cut her own meat at dinner or get up and ready in under 2 hours, but she sort of cleans her own room and is learning to drive.  She’s pretty awesome.) 

The husband and I are basically the same, just older and fatter. D still makes it a point to take a 3-hour shit two seconds after I get everyone ready to leave the house and in retaliation I leave all of the lights on when I leave the house. 

I guess that’s basically the run down of 2017.  It wasn’t totally amazing or totally awful.   

It’s was....interesting.  Full of changes for sure.  We’ve had some amazing experiences and some hard ones, but nothing too horrible.  2017 definitely forced us all to lean on one another at different times, but it also showed us just how much we can all depend on each other.

Looking back on it we’re pretty lucky.  Everyone’s still got their original appendages, no one got lost and I didnt even try to sell any of them. 

Maybe someone will do something funny in the next 6 months so I can post about it...don’t hold your breath though.  I’ll probably miss it while I’m hiding in the shitter eating chocolate looking for some goddamned peace and quiet.