This is why it's called I duct-taped the baby...



My sweet Big Red came to work with me last Friday. (Because she had no school and is failing her classes so I decided to torture her - different story for another day)

Anyway, Big Red noticed the blog up on my computer screen and is all:  
 "What?  I duct-taped a Baby? Who Duct-tapes a baby?  Moooooom...why are you reading that? Can I have a candy?  This is boring."

I told her to get back to work in my best Nazi voice, but the thoughts in my head went more like this :
"Oh honey, mommy's not reading a blog called I duct-taped the Baby.  Mommy's writes a blog called I duct taped the baby...and it's full of all of the the funny, irritating, embarrassing and just plain stupid shit you all do on a regular basis.  Mommy writes it so she doesn't lose her mind.  ...And who wouldn't duct-tape a motherfucking baby?"

Back to the intent of this page...why I named the blog "I duct-taped the baby."

She's not actually pottying here
Because I did.  I duct-taped the baby.  I've done it a few times actually.  See, she is just getting ready to potty train.  Not good enough to do anything other than pee on my floor or couch but she knows when her diaper is wet and has decided that her princess butt cheeks cannot tolerate moisture.  So her diaper comes off constantly.  Literally,  if the humidity rises my kid rips off the diaper and requests a fresh one. (She also manages to rip the Velcro tabs so I can't re-use it if it's not actually wet)

After about 7 diaper changes in 6-1/2minutes I gave up.  I let her run without a diaper.  15 minutes into the little nudist's rampage she managed to pee 3 times: once on the linoleum, once on the carpet and once on the brand new leather couch.

or here

Back on went the diaper and she immediately tried to rip it off.

I wasn't about to go through another 7 diapers all before noon - so I duct-taped her.  (not actually her - no skin came into contact with the duct tape- just the diaper.  It was like a pretty silver duct tape diaper belt)

or here
That was gonna be my first blog, but shit happened and I wrote all the others first.
Now you know....