My sweet Big Red came to work with me last Friday. (Because she had no school and is failing her classes so I decided to torture her - different story for another day)
Anyway, Big Red noticed the blog up on my computer screen and is all:
"What? I duct-taped a Baby? Who Duct-tapes a baby? Moooooom...why are you reading that? Can I have a candy? This is boring."
I told her to get back to work in my best Nazi voice, but the thoughts in my head went more like this :
"Oh honey, mommy's not reading a blog called I duct-taped the Baby. Mommy's writes a blog called I duct taped the baby...and it's full of all of the the funny, irritating, embarrassing and just plain stupid shit you all do on a regular basis. Mommy writes it so she doesn't lose her mind. ...And who wouldn't duct-tape a motherfucking baby?"
Back to the intent of this page...why I named the blog "I duct-taped the baby."
|She's not actually pottying here|
After about 7 diaper changes in 6-1/2minutes I gave up. I let her run without a diaper. 15 minutes into the little nudist's rampage she managed to pee 3 times: once on the linoleum, once on the carpet and once on the brand new leather couch.
Back on went the diaper and she immediately tried to rip it off.
I wasn't about to go through another 7 diapers all before noon - so I duct-taped her. (not actually her - no skin came into contact with the duct tape- just the diaper. It was like a pretty silver duct tape diaper belt)
Now you know....