Yeah - I said it...EFF YOU....you with all your staying home super mommy-ness.
...And I mean that as a compliment. I'm also jealous.
I could probably swing being a stay at home mom financially, but I couldn't actually hack the day-to-day business of being a full time stay at home mom. I wish I could say "I HAVE to work for financial reasons, but If I had my choice I'd be at home with my precious little spawn enjoying play-doh and finger painting." That would be a damn lie.
As much as I love my kids I would go completely insane after the first 3 days (if I actually made it that long). I don't like messes, I DESPISE play-doh and I suck at make-believe. (Refer to my previous post...I'm not really sure why have all of these kids)
Every day I feel like I'm failing them in a million different ways. When I wake them up at 6AM and send them to daycare with a cup of milk and a kiss I think about all of you that get up and watch cartoons and make Mickey Mouse pancakes and I envy the fact that you enjoy doing that.
When my kids come home with their finger-paint masterpieces I know that someone else was there to watch them create it and tell them what a good job they did.
I get on Facebook and see all of my stay at home friends posting pictures of Zoo trips, play dates and arts and crafts. I notice the mess in the background and I see the kid covered head to toe in blue finger-paint. I can tell that not one person in that picture cares about either.
In that moment I know I'm not cut out to be a stay at home mom. I would be faking the smile and having a coronary about the mess and the blue kid and already thinking about getting everyone cleaned and down for a nap. I know this about myself and it makes me hate you and your happy mess just a little bit. (I mean that in the nicest way possible BTW)
I've found other ways to compensate:
With the extra finances we get to do fun things that we might not otherwise be able to afford. The kids get to load up on sports, classes and activities that cost a fortune. I dedicate my weekends to them to to make up for the 40 hours of absence.
They're a well rounded bunch and I don't think they feel un-loved or neglected, but I know. I know the trade off that I choose willingly for my own sanity.
On good days I feel like it's ok - I'm raising my kids (especially my girls) to be strong and independent. They'll know that they can have a family and a career.
On shitty days (when you all plaster my feed with homemade cookies and noodle craft paintings) I know I'm missing the most important years of my kids life - 8 hours at a time and I want to stomp on all of your damn noodle paintings.
I wish I could be more like you stay at home moms- I wish I could enjoy it all or at least most of it. But I cant...so in true Ashley fashion "Eff You stay at home moms!!!" ;)
Can I ask one favor.....help a sister out. Snap a picture of a tantrum or poop on the floor. Something to remind me that your world isn't all roses either.