Thursday, June 25, 2015

I Still Don't Know Who Wiped His Butt....


For at least 2 years now I've been bitching about Boy Terrorist's sleeping habits...as in he doesn't have any.
I think I even called him a crack head...

I can't even pinpoint the night that it all changed...

A few evenings ago I told the boy it was bedtime.  He got up, grabbed my hand and walked up to his bedroom with me.   He got in bed and asked for a kiss and that was it.
No flailing on the ground, no sobs, no protests, no begging for 10 more minutes....

When I got back downstairs and recovered from my shock I realized that bedtime has been easy with him for quite some time now.

Holy shit....he's growing up.  I began to curse time and wrack my brain for all the other things he wasn't doing anymore.
Did he still ask for hugs, did he still need daddy to read him a story, when was the last time he asked me to wipe his butt.....shit! literally shit!

I didn't have time to evaluate any further because of the howling coming from upstairs.
That howling was high pitched and coming from the room next to the golden boy.  As I got closer I could make out the sentence.  "MOOOOOOM!  I need a drink of water!"  over and over and over...and louder each time.

I got princess terrorist her drink of water and realized that we didn't even have to get the golden boy water anymore - he just tells us what he's doing and gets his own water and goes back to bed.

I began to curse time again....again I was interrupted by princess terrorist - she needed a story, then a kiss, then a hug.....then she was crying but didn't know why.

Next she needed a band aid for her shoulder....I don't know why.  I didn't even ask her.  It was almost midnight and I would have covered her pretty little body with band aids if it meant I could get some fucking sleep.

About a week into this ritual I realized that the tides have shifted.
My boy is growing up.

Whats more depressing than my boy growing up is the fact that his sister is following in his footsteps and she's worse than he EVER was!!!

I didn't have much time to dwell on this either because as soon as I got into his new chapter the bastards turned the table on us once again...

For the last week both kids have gone to bed quietly and with little resistance.  I should have known they were up to something....

 About 25 minutes after we put them to bed (just long enough for us to get comfortable in our own bed)  we hear a blood curdling scream come from the boys room.
Only one problem - it's his sister's voice making the scream...
We run in to the boys room and there he is SOUND ASLEEP.  Just behind him is his sister.  Screaming because she wants down.  (If you don't remember Jax has a fancy loft firehouse bed that's accessed through a cutout ladder)
This is in my bed and as you can see it's daylight so of course they're both sound asleep....


We're still not sure how he gets her up there, but we're going on night 3 of this shit and it's like fucking groundhog day.

I don't know whether I should be sad that he's growing up, happy that he loves his sister or just pray for the madness to stop.

I am in the market for a ladder though.  Maybe if she can get herself down after the boy nods off we can all get some sleep....