Thursday, June 18, 2015

Hello My Name is Ashley and My Kids Make Me Seem Like an Alcoholic

To strangers...

Bringing the kids to the liquor store has always made me feel I was bringing them to a crack house.  (I know, I look like I have my shit together, but this is the weirdo shit that runs through my brain: liquor store +toddler= crack house)

I feel like everyone's looking at me and thinking "Look at that lady, she can't even take her kids home before getting that barrel of booze"...Well, that and I generally don't bring the terrorists anywhere in public - definitely not a store full of breakable glass bottles.  (I call them terrorists for a reason)

Daddy's a little more sane than mommy and a lot more adventurous.  He takes the terrorists EVERYWHERE!

This is typically a good thing.  They get fresh air, they see the sky....mommy stays home and has peace and quiet.

Well as it turns out Daddy's been taking them to the liquor store.  Now I know it's not an actual crack house and on the surface you're thinking "SO WHAT"
Here's the deal...the liquor stores give out suckers (lolly pops, dum-dum's, whatever they're called).  Boy terrorist likes them A LOT...
This is the little sucker addict here...prob pouting because he has no sucker
 I was shocked a few weeks ago when we drove by the LQ  (liquor store for short) and my son screamed "Stop at the sucker store mom! I want a sucker!"Mainly because he actually recognized the place.  This went on for a few weeks.  Annoying if I was in a hurry but harmless and kind of cute.

What was not cute was when we went to the grocery store and my son had an all out meltdown because he wanted to go to the liquor store for suckers (we pass by it on the way tot he grocery store).
"I WANT TO GO TO THE LIQUOR STORE!!!!....puuuuulease Mommy, bring me to the liquor store."    This went on the entire shopping trip.

No, the little shit didn't follow that with "because I want a sucker"  he just kept begging me to take him to the liquor store like a 40 year man old man hell bent on starting a week long bender.....

I think I would have gotten less looks had I lit a cigarette and asked him to hold it for me while I shopped.

This is why we don't do "public"
This is also why I better never be stuck in a nursing home.

As a side note this is what happens when Jaxon tries to be and hold his sucker at the same time....
Unfortunately I don't have a picture of him. He was in a corner crying because  we wouldn't let him keep sucking on it....

That's the sucker

Removing the sucker with a grabber tool...

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