I'm sick and my kids are not fun....AT ALL

I usually share the funny stuff here and hope to make everyone laugh, the last two weeks haven't been all that funny.  I think it's because I've been sick.  Not sick enough to actually get my ass to the doctor or need sympathy but enough to make life miserable for all of us.

Anyway, I was reading a fellow mom's blog about how she felt overwhelmed and and some ways felt like she had failed (she is a stay at home mom).  I didn't enjoy the fact that someone else was having a shitty time, but it was nice to know I'm not the only one who feels like life is imploding sometimes.

Generally, I don't write this crap because even though I don't always feel "Lucky"  I know that I am.  I have  friends and family that have struggled to have children and would give anything to have the three healthy children that I have.  Don't get me wrong..I know exactly how blessed I am, but some days I would still like a vacation from my "Blessings"

I figured I'd share my comment for anyone that's been there before. 
Or for any of you that have teen daughters...go ahead and use it as birth control - or call me I'll let you borrow my kids.  I'll give them sugar and hand them over without naps.

So, here it is:

I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum in terms of work, but I feel exactly the same.  I work full time as a project engineer and have 3 kiddos (That I never really planned on having - if we're being honest)  My oldest is 12 (she was supposed to be my 1st and only)  #2 is a three year old boy  and #3 is a two year old diva baby.  (Daddy is awesome and has endless patience- thank god because he picks up the slack that I leave laying around.) 

Recently the whole routine of coming home from work, picking up 2 screaming toddlers, trying to cook dinner (with 2 screaming toddlers) and trying to get dishes and homework done has just been overwhelming.  
I want to scream at the kids to leave me alone for 2 damn minutes and I want to scream at my husband and remind him that those 2 kids were his idea (therefore I should go on vacation and he should raise them until they're normal at which time I'll come back and take all of the credit for raising 3 well adjusted children). Some days all I want is to actually run away and take that vacation alone and not have to wipe anyone's nose or ass or plead with anyone to eat their vegetables. 

 I just want one night without a tantrum and the idea of reading bedtime stories makes my eye twitch. 

By 10PM everyone is down for the night and replay all of the shitty things I said or the times I lost my patience or the moments I wished I wasn't a mother and this wasn't my life and I feel like a complete failure for  not "treasuring these moments".  

For a second I actually think about waking my babies just to hug them and tell them I love them.  I make a mental promise to do it better the next day and not scream or shoo them away, but the next day is a shit show just like the day before and the day before. I feel like I'm drowning in tantrums, dinners, homework and shitty diapers.

This hasn't always been the case and I'm trudging through hoping it's just the toddler phase that's making this all so damn hard (I actually enjoyed having two babies, but the toddlers are terrible).  I'm trying to learn to let go and enjoy the kids and not worry about the mess or the little things.  I try daily to remember that they are still just babies and find the fun in interacting with them instead of being annoyed at the shit that doesn't go as planned. 

I feel like I'm in over my head with work and a pre-teen and two babies.  But work is my vacation - it's a place where people can wait and I don't have to be at everyone's beck and call.  It's a place where all my shit is in order, I know what I'm doing and I'm in control.

Sometimes, I feel like total crap for working and missing "their formative years" and actually enjoying it, but I know I'm not cut out to be a stay at home mom.  I guess what I'm saying is thanks for letting me know it's shitty on both sides of the fence.

So there you have it.....
I have figured out the solution though - I need my mom.
If she lived here I could totally leave them with her for the night and have a mini vacation with my husband.

For all of you out there that know my mom let her know.  Shoot her an email, stop by and offer to pack her stuff, offer to rent her house.  Let her know how much better my quality of life would be if she's just move across the country and into my basement.

Canceled Flights, Layovers and HUGE Penises

After canceled flights, crazy layovers, complete meltdowns and some loud penis talk we are FINALLY HOME!!!

Terrorists on a Plane

We spent a week back home with my mom in Pierre Part. It wet way too fast and I wish we could have stayed longer.

Playing in the Rain in December

Rural Life Museum

 BUT.....These memories will have to last us at least 3 more years because I'm not traveling with this family again until everyone can carry their own shit and no one craps their pants.

If the flight back home was a test in patience I think I failed miserably (I didn't actually beat anyone or sell a child so I didn't fail completely)

The flight in to Louisiana went fairly well. Straight through flight no melt downs no kids screaming on a plane.  Of course, we own a Jaxon so it wasn't completely without incident and true to form he was completely inappropriate.

Let me set the scene:
I took a whole row and sat with the babies.  (I sat in the aisle seat in order to corral them in to our row)
Derek and Kait were in the aisle across from us.  In front of us were 3 women:  One teenage girl, one lady who looked to be in her mid 50's and on women who had to be in her late 70's.
I buckled Lannie in and then Jaxon.  I proceeded to get snacks and toys sorted for the kids and get their backpacks stashed under the seats.

This is Jaxon

I'm sitting there with my head between my legs trying to shove backpacks under the seats in front of us when I hear "Look Mom!!!" from Jaxon. That usually means he found a piece of lint or something else just as exciting so I didn't initially look up. "What is it bud?"  I should note that at this point we're still at the gate - the plane engines haven't started, people are still filing in and it's fairly quiet.  To my horror (and amusement if I'm being honest) my son replies with "Look at my huge giant PENIS!!!!" I shoot up and stifle a snort/giggle to find my son with the extra portion of the lap belt extended out in front of him showing me his "HUGE GIANT PENIS"....and now that I've snorted he's not stopping.  "Look how giant"  "Huge Penis" "Penis Belt" this shit just kept spewing from his mouth!! The old ladies in front of me looked back in horror (the teenager was giggling) and I think the oldest lady might have had a stroke.  I literally dissolved into a fit of giggles because I'm such a stellar mother...and it was freaking funny.

Dick Jokes Wear You out....

Shortly after Jaxon's spectacle they both crashed out and slept the whole flight in.
In retrospect a few dick jokes isn't that bad of a trade off for 3 hours of peace and quiet.




The flight home was another story all together.  Not a funny one.
Our flight was canceled, we had to stay in a hotel, get a new flight out with a 6 hour layover in Houston.  No one slept, everyone had melt downs and I threatened to lock my son in a restroom stall and leave him there if he didn't quit whining....awesome. (We did get 1st class seats on one leg of the trip...silver lining right?)

Big Red is loving 1st Class

I'll take dick jokes any day......