His Penis Was Angry.....

I can add "Angry Pee'er" to the list of shit I never expected to deal with...

I picked up the boy terrorist at daycare yesterday only to find out that he's an angry pee'er (oh he can also use the word "hell" in context also)

Apparently, Boy Terrorist had TWO accidents at school yesterday...
After each accident they changed him into his "back-up clothes".
 I only sent 2 outfits (and I thought that was overkill).  After accident #2 their only option was to put BT into a pull up and some borrowed daycare pants.

This did not go over well with the boy.  After they got his wet clothes off and came at him with a pull-up.  He yelled "What the hell are you doing" and proceed to pee on his babysitter. 
Not on the floor mind you.  Directly on the poor woman.

I didn't want to believe my son just peed all over a person so I decided to ask him what the deal was.  Here is our conversation:

Me: Jax, why did you have so many accidents?
Jax: I had to pee a lot
Me: What didn't you go to the bathroom
Jax: I was doing things  (ah well OK then...I remember that the next time I'm busy at work)
Me: So why did you pee on Mrs. Babysitter
Jax:  I didn't
Me:  Yes you did.  DO NOT lie to me - she told me you peed on her.
Jax: No, I didn't!  My penis did it!
Me: Jaxon, you have control of your penis and your pee.  You cannot blame things on your penis - it doesn't just do things on it's own.  That's not how it works.

Jax:  No my penis didn't want a diaper and it got mad and peed, I tried to tell it not to.  My penis doesn't listen.  You don't have a penis!  You don't know!  (Touché son, Touché)

Me: Well make damn sure your penis knows it's unacceptable to pee on people from her on out.  Next time you pee on anything other than the potty you and your penis are both punished!
Jax: You tell it
Me: I am not talking to your penis.  This conversation is over

I think I'm in for a whole hell of a lot of trouble if we're already starting with this..... 

Lannie Poop-ted

I heard the commotion downstairs but I was in the bath.
I waited until it was quiet before getting out. (Because I am an asshole)

Separated by a floor and soaking in my nice warm bath I only heard bits and pieces of of what was going on.

Derek: "Lannie!  COME HERE!!!"
Lannie:  "Arrrrlge" "Bleeergle"  (I don't understand her on a good day so I have no idea what she said from all the way down there)
Derek: "No!  Do NOT run from me!  Come here!  Ew!  Gross!  COME HERE!!!" "Damnit"!
I suppressed a giggle and got out of the tub.

Since we're working on potty training with the Tiny Terrorist I naturally assumed she peed her pants, or peed on the couch, or on the floor, or on my carpet....typical places that Tiny Terrorist usually pees.

Jaxon met me in the bathroom to debrief me on the situation.  (Have I mentioned that I have NO privacy whatsoever now that the rerrorists have taken over)

Jaxon:  "Mom!  Guess what!!
Me: What Jax
Jax:  Lannie poop-ted!  On the floor!  Then she mushed her feet in it!  Daddy touched it!

What really happened was this:  Lannie peed in her panties and told daddy "Daddy pee" when Daddy got to Lannie he saw the soaked panties and proceeded to remove them.  What he didn't know was that there was a turd lurking in there too.  When he removed the panties the turd fell on the floor.  About this time Lannie tried to run away from daddy and stepped on the turd in the process...

 Kind of wish I would have gotten out of the bath to see this unfold, but somehow I think I would have ended up picking up the poop if I had.
 And I've cleaned up every other terrorist turd before this one.....

(She's still got nothing on her brother who pooped in his sisters room.  He hid it under a lid and left it there.... thinking no one would know.)

The "Poop-stepper"