The Longest Goodbye

When I sat down to write this post I fully intended it to be a funny little tribute to Big Red (who isn't very big nor is she red anymore).

This morning the school sent me a notification that she was absent in her first class, so I texted her to find out where she was.  She promptly texted me back telling me she was in said class with a picture of her looking confused...in class.  

This has happened before...it made me chuckle.  

(No I'm not a moron receiving pre-planned pictures...the absences are always updated and she is actually there...I also have GPS on her phone to confirm) 

 

 

 My intention here was to share with you the running theme of our relationship now...it's based mainly on text messages and revolves around her location and my payments. 

Where are you?

When will you be home?

Yes I can send you $20, $40, $50.

You weren't here and this thing happened and I knew you'd think it was funny so here is a picture...

I started reading through our string of texts and I chuckled at first.

Then the tears came.

 While reading our daily exchanges I realized that I was literally watching my baby grow up and letting her go message by message.

 It's the longest goodbye I've ever experienced.  It's excruciating, and humbling, exciting and terrifying all at the same time.   

There is this young woman in place of the quiet little blond girl I still expect to see. 

 

She is strong, and bold, and funny and fierce.

She is even more beautiful on the inside than she is on the outside. 

She has learned to not take life or herself too seriously.

She's everything I wished for her to be 18 years ago. 

She will succeed and she will be amazing.

 

 

 

She's also preparing to graduate and move out.  

And I'm preparing to say goodbye.

...in tiny increments, with individual text messages

 

 

 

Flying is terrifying.  

Especially when you're the one watching from the ground.

 

Kaitlynn, I am so incredibly lucky God chose me to be your Mama! I am proud to call you mine. Keep chasing your dreams sweet girl, you are unstoppable.