Clearly I haven’t.
My poor blog seems to have fallen into the same black hole that somehow sucked up all of my free time and energy and clean underwear. (Like, ALL OF THE GODDAMNED UNDERWEAR!)
Since they’re too young to read this I’ll just blame it on the terrorists for not being funny anymore.
In truth they might be a little less funny but mainly they’re just all so goddamned active.
I was reading through some of my old posts and I remember feeling like I was stuck in a never ending cycle of shitty diapers, tantrums, homework and counting down the days till daddy came home. I didn’t think it could get any more hectic or exhausting.
I was wrong.
The kids are less physically demanding but god they’re mentally exhausting. (For instance - I’m currently sitting in the tub trying to wash my ass while calling out spelling words to Jaxon, watching Lannie put on a runway show in my heels, reading a drama piece with Kait and trying to get her competition schedule nailed down)
Back to the terrorists:
They’re not cute little drunk midgets with mood swings anymore. They’re like miniature bipolar dictators . Everyone wants to run the fucking show but no one wants to get a damn job and pay some of the bills.
And the personalities....OHMIGOD THE FUCKING PERSONALITIES! And the homework and the talking and the questions and the practices and the school plays...and the arguing and the fighting.
Their personalities haven’t changed so much- they’ve just REALLY intensified. Except Kait- she’s like a whole new person ( I’ll get to her later - she deserves her own paragraph)
Lannie is still an asshole but she’s also morphed into my southern, uptown, old money grandmother. She sleeps with a sleeping mask (every single night), rises about 10:30, douses herself in perfume and lipstick, tells you exactly what she thinks and carries her toys in a coach bag wherever she goes. Yes, she still runs the show and no we don’t fight it anymore. She’s probably the most self sufficient of the bunch...and long as she doesn’t have to get up before brunch. (She also has a 40 year old BFF - like for real)
Jaxon hasn’t changed much - he’s still the sweet, sensitive little man he always was. He’s quit saying weird shit like “I wat to hug your guts” but he still loves unconditionally and blindly even thought his sisters routinely take advantage of that fact. He’s my easy kid in school, but probably the most work at home. He spends about 40% of the time crying because his sisters are harassing him, 30% of the time trying to hit them with hard objects because of the harassment and another 30% of the time doing whatever it was that I told him to stop doing “just one more time” (or shooting nerf guns at the dogs)
Kait isn’t really in the same category as the terrrorists anymore. She’s a real person that you can have adult conversations with (most of the time). I dreaded highschool and teen years, but this last year has been almost as much fun as when she was a baby and couldn’t move.
This year had been a game changer for her. To say she’s grown up and come into her own is an understatement. She lives with us full time now and the difference in her whole personality has been mind blowing.
Big red is now a freshman in highschool maintaining A’s and B’s, she’s a varsity cheerleader and also on a competition cheer team. She’s outspoken and funny and she’s found this confidence that you can see in her eyes.
Y’all, she hangs out with us on Saturday nights sometimes -even when she’s not grounded. As a matter of fact I dont think she’s been grounded in over 3 months. (She still can’t cut her own meat at dinner or get up and ready in under 2 hours, but she sort of cleans her own room and is learning to drive. She’s pretty awesome.)
The husband and I are basically the same, just older and fatter. D still makes it a point to take a 3-hour shit two seconds after I get everyone ready to leave the house and in retaliation I leave all of the lights on when I leave the house.
I guess that’s basically the run down of 2017. It wasn’t totally amazing or totally awful.
It’s was....interesting. Full of changes for sure. We’ve had some amazing experiences and some hard ones, but nothing too horrible. 2017 definitely forced us all to lean on one another at different times, but it also showed us just how much we can all depend on each other.
Looking back on it we’re pretty lucky. Everyone’s still got their original appendages, no one got lost and I didnt even try to sell any of them.
Maybe someone will do something funny in the next 6 months so I can post about it...don’t hold your breath though. I’ll probably miss it while I’m hiding in the shitter eating chocolate looking for some goddamned peace and quiet.
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